How I Told Everyone I Was a Medium
By Makena Sherwood
Note: This blog post was originally published in March 2020.
For the past few months, I’ve felt like I’ve been living two different lives. It’s recently gotten to a point where in order to continue my development and live authentically as myself it’s time to step out and allow myself to be seen. I’m writing this to show you who I am and who I am becoming. I am highly aware that this may be confusing for some people. It’s important to know that this was always part of me but now I am finally allowing myself to express it. Announcing this to you all seems so formal, momentous and vulnerable. However, at the same time, it just feels like I’m telling you who I am for the first time. Like I’m taking a breath for the first time as myself.
About 7 months ago I began a mentorship to help understand and get some guidance on some “new” things I was experiencing. I say “new” because I only started to be conscious of them about four years ago but I believe they have always been part of my life. However, in the last two years, these feelings have gotten stronger and stronger. Before I began my mentorship I didn’t understand the experiences with Spirit that I was having. It began with having premonitions through dreams, occasionally during the day and often just the general feeling that I knew things before they would happen. This actually was something that happened my entire life but for a long time, I thought I was just a great guesser! As time went on I began to have physical sensations as well. I started to notice that when Spirit was there I would feel a tingling at the top of my head or sometimes small parts of my body would go to sleep. These feelings would almost always be accompanied by an overwhelming urge to pass a message along to somebody. Most of the time when these things would happen I would get very anxious because I felt like I was out of control and didn’t know why I was feeling, hearing and seeing certain things. There were many times where I had a feeling something would happen, it proceeded to happen, and I immediately dismissed it as a coincidence. For example, I knew things I shouldn't have reasonably known -- that someone was pregnant, going to be let go of a job, or had lost someone close to them. To be honest for a long time I think I dismissed all of these things because it is and had always been my normal!
During my development, I’ve been learning how Spirit communicates through me. I use the term Spirit to describe who I’m channeling but there are many different terms and understandings of what/who Spirit is. The truth is that no matter how we define it, I believe that as long as we ask for only messages from the highest good to come through, it all comes from the same source. Part of learning how Spirit communicates through me means developing my frame of reference. This is important because all of the messages that come through me go through my filter. Spirit can’t show or tell me things I may not be able to reference. The part of development that’s really fun is just learning as much as I can so I can expand my frame of reference.
During this mentorship, I’ve given readings that have surprised me in the best way possible. Through this experience, I’ve learned that I can hold a lot of emotion, pass along beautiful and healing messages, then lovingly let them go. Being able to pass along these messages to people who have lost friends, family members, and children has been something that has completely transformed not only my viewpoint on life but has also redefined what I want my life path to look like.
Before I began developing these gifts I was so used to *feeling* like I had everything together. I thought that being successful was showing yourself and others that you are doing what you’re supposed to do. I lived in this world where I was so scared to step outside the lines and yet I was constantly pushing up against them. It was an internal battle that I was unconsciously existing in. I never really felt seen or understood. I didn’t understand why things weren’t making sense to me. I was in unhealthy relationship patterns and felt disconnected from my body and my intuition. For a long time, it seemed easier to try my hardest not to rock the boat, to not be too much, or too little, and to be the perfect amount of everything. It was exhausting.
Helping others heal is a responsibility I do not take lightly and I am so grateful for the small role I can play in someone’s journey. This post is an acknowledgment that I am giving myself permission to be a beginner, to learn about this beautiful gift, and how to use it to bring good into our world.
If you are still here, thank you. I appreciate you! As for what’s coming, I have no idea and I’m learning to love that. I’m slowly working on having a loving detachment to results or outcomes. Right now all I’m positive of is that my work with Spirit is helping validate, guide, heal and inspire people. If you’re still curious about the nitty-gritty I will continue talking about my process and work on social media. Above all, I do know that I am making a conscious choice to allow myself to be seen, by myself and others and that feels really good.
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